


terrible things

by lamekid (orphan_account)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: But here you go, M/M, Songfic, a lot of shit goes down in a thousand words or so, i wrote half of this at 1AM, it's not even funny, malum have two kids, so this might be really bad, the other half was speed-written this morning, this is so freaking emo like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 22:15:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4804220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lamekid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And he tried, he tried so hard not to fall in love with his <i>best friend</i>, of all people, because even at the very beginning he knew that there was just too much to lose. But he was stupid, and he was desperate, and he was trapped by green eyes and red lips and he never wanted to leave.</p>
<p>He was stupid, he was desperate, and he was in love, and back then he had Michael and everything was okay.</p>
<p>But now he's just stupid, and desperate, and <i>alone.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	terrible things

**Author's Note:**

> based off of _terrible things_ by mayday parade. for jazzi, who demanded that i write this :)))))

"Papa, when is Daddy coming home?"

Calum almost dropped his mug. He rubbed his eyes lightly before turning around. Wide green eyes met his, and his heart dropped into his stomach. He felt something prick at the back of his eyes and his chest tightened, leaving him at a loss for words. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he placed his mug on the counter and went to scoop up both of the seven year olds into his arms.

"Come on, let's get you guys to bed," he mumbled. He tried to smile, but it morphed into a grimace. The two children squirmed in his hold, grumbling as he went up the stairs.

"Do we have to? It's not even bedtime yet," the little boy said with a small pout. Calum chuckled.

"Papa's a little tired tonight," he replied as he entered his children's bedroom, cautiously stepping over stray toys and books as he made his way to the bed. He rested the boy on the pillows and did the same to the little girl before he flicked the night light on. He crawled into bed with the pair, pulling the Spiderman duvet over the three of them. His mind flashed back to so many years ago, and for a moment all he could see was the first day of Year One and green eyes and Spiderman lunchboxes.

"I can tell you guys a bedtime story," Calum offered to the seven year olds, who immediately brightened up. "Deal?"

"Can you tell me a story about you and Daddy?" the little boy asked excitedly. Calum sighed – but how was he supposed to turn down that face? Begrudgingly, he agreed. 

"Well . . . I met your dad when we were about your age. It was our first day of school ever, and I was a shy little kid back then. Mum had to pay me to make friends," he whispered, and the two children beside him giggled. "So we got to school, and Mum pointed at some random boy and told me to make friends with him for a dollar. So I walked up to the boy and, _guess what?_ He had a Spiderman lunchbox."

"I love Spiderman!" his son interrupted, and Calum chuckled.

"So, anyway, it turned out that boy's name was Michael Clifford. We became best friends after that," he trailed off, reminiscing. He was quiet for a few moments before his little girl asked,

"Is that it? Can you tell us more, Papa?"

Calum hummed. "How about the time we fell in love?"

The boy scrunched his face up, but his sister looked up at Calum and nodded enthusiastically. Laughter bubbled up in Calum's chest as he continued on, "We were about fourteen. It was scary, because we had never been in love before, and we both thought we liked girls. Well, _I_ did. Your dad didn't really care as much. But I was afraid, so I pushed him away. I didn't stay mad for long, though.

"It was easier for us, I think, the whole falling in love business. Sometimes people had to go through other things before they fully accepted it. Maybe it was because we were best friends before we became lovers. You know, our mums realised it before us. That me and your dad were in love, I mean."

"How did you know you loved Daddy?" the girl questioned. Calum pondered his answer for a moment before he replied,

"There was this football thing in Brazil, and my coach wanted me to go along with him and a bunch of other really good players. Your dad didn't want me to go, but I was fourteen and that was pretty much my life-long dream. So I went anyway." The two beside him gasped.

"I know, I know. Papa did a lot of dumb things when he was fourteen. I got really homesick at one point, and I had no idea why, because my parens and even Auntie Mali called all the time," he said. "But when I got home, Michael was there, and everything was okay. I remember he called me a di––something mean, but we hugged it out, and everything was okay. I think, by that point, I had finally realised it."

He stayed quiet for a minute, just _remembering_ , until his son shook his arm, a quiet plea to tell more. He sighed, a small smile gracing his face as he wracked his brain.

"Last year, your dad and I got married. But before that, about two years ago, I proposed to him in what was probably the least romantic way in the history of least romantic proposals," he said, chuckling lightly. "We were at the park and, I don't know, it was just an in-the-moment thing. I had to leave him at the swings and make up some excuse that I had to go find a bathroom because I needed to number two." At that, the children giggled. "In reality, I dropped by this convenience store nearby and bought some paper, a ribbon, and a ring pop. I wrapped up the ring pop in the paper and tied it up with a little bow. When I got back, he laughed at me because I had taken so long to 'get on with my business.' But I ignored him and dropped down on one knee, and – well – he knew what was coming. He rolled his eyes at me, (what a _meanie_ ) and said yes," he finished lamely.

"And then you lived happily ever after?" the little girl asked expectantly. A lump caught in Calum's throat, and he knew he shouldn't lie. But he did. Words had failed him, so he opted to nod instead. A smile spread over the two children's faces as he did so, and he felt his heart break just one more time.

"Well, that's it, kiddos. Papa's out of stories to tell," he mumbled, and the two groaned but didn't protest any further. He tucked the two in, moving the little girl to her own bed, and kissed them goodnight before he went to his own room and closed the door softly. There, alone with his mind, the tears came. He slid down onto the floor as he let the grief he had tried so hard to keep at bay consume him. Reminiscing old memories and telling stories to his children had been a distraction at first, but as he went on to actually _tell_ the stories, it had been painful. The past few _weeks_ had been painful. He had tried his best to explain to his kids why their dad was at the hospital, and why he might not come home again. Calum _tried_ , but his whole life was one big trial and error. He tried not to break down when Michael had told him everything, but he failed. He tried to make the most of their last few moments together, and he tried not to lie to his children when the time actually came to say goodbye. He tried to listen to Michael's wishes, to not let the grief wear him down when _the time_ came.

And he tried, he tried so hard not to fall in love with his _best friend_ , of all people, because even at the very beginning he knew that there was just too much to lose. But he was stupid, and he was desperate, and he was trapped by green eyes and red lips and he never wanted to leave.

He was stupid, he was desperate, and he was in love, and back then he had Michael and everything was okay.

But now he's just stupid, and desperate, and _alone_.

And he would give anything to go back to when he was fourteen, to push Michael away, before those green eyes got to him.

**Author's Note:**

> what the frick even was that ending lmao
> 
> leave a kudos and a review, or come be my friend on [tumblr](http://greenlightmalum.tumblr.com/) !! :)


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